im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
