Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
