I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
