Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
