Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
