I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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