I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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