Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
