I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
