also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
