...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
