you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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