Please, let me fuck your mom
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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