After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
