I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We left the knife in your bed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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