You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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