uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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