K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
