He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
