Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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