Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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