just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
