look no pants
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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Did you just see the Batmobile???
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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