I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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