You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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