***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ketchup is God's man juice
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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