I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
