Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this will be a night to untag.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
