tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
