They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
