Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
