I cockslap morals
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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