A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
