i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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