She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
