there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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