She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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