i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
