11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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