Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
