Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He better not be in your backpack
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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