I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
