This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
