Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
