Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
