My liver just broke up with me...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
