That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
