and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
