he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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