I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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